An affair can indeed surface a multitude of emotions, and hurt is often one of the most prevalent. Many individuals wonder if this hurt will ever dissipate. The reality is that healing from the pain of betrayal is a complex and individual journey. While the intensity of the hurt may diminish over time, for some, it may never completely vanish. However we’re here to tell you that with time, self-reflection, and affair recovery therapy in Portland, OR, individuals can gradually learn to cope with the hurt and move forward with their lives.

For the cheated partner, the hurt and betrayal caused by infidelity can be devastating and overwhelming. They may experience a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, confusion, and a loss of trust in their partner. Additionally, the cheated partner may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, wondering what they did wrong or why they weren't enough to prevent the affair. This can lead to a significant blow to their self-esteem and confidence.

From the betrayer’s perspective, the affair might have been a way to fulfill unmet needs, seek validation, or escape from underlying issues in the primary relationship. While some individuals may experience remorse and guilt, others may rationalize their behavior or compartmentalize their emotions. However, the affair can also evoke feelings of shame, regret, and inner turmoil, especially when confronted with the consequences. Despite the initial allure, many cheaters can and do realize the immense damage caused to their partners and relationships, catalyzing introspection and a desire for change.

What is the Rumination After Betrayal?

Rumination after betrayal, often called betrayal trauma, is the persistent dwelling on the betrayal experience and its aftermath. It involves repeatedly thinking about the details of the betrayal, the emotions it evokes, and its implications for one's life and relationships. This rumination can become intrusive, consuming a person's thoughts and leading to heightened emotions and distress.

Betrayal trauma can trigger a range of emotional and physical responses. This includes:

Anxiety
Depression
Difficulty concentrating
Headaches
Stomachaches

Individuals experiencing betrayal trauma may struggle to trust others, leading to difficulties in forming or maintaining relationships. Recognizing and addressing betrayal trauma is essential for promoting healing and restoring a sense of safety and security in one's life. If you’re wondering what is the therapy for infidelity trauma, affair recovery therapy offers a safe space to explore these feelings and responses.

How Long Does it Take to Heal From Betrayal?

Healing after an affair is a process that varies for each individual and couple. Each person's healing timeframe allows for the initial shock and emotional turmoil to subside, paving the way for a deeper healing process. However, the duration of healing may be influenced by various factors, such as the duration and severity of the affair, the willingness of both partners to engage in therapy or counseling, and the level of commitment to the recovery process. While some individuals may begin to feel a sense of normalcy sooner, it's essential to recognize that healing is a gradual journey marked by ups and downs! The objective isn't to ignore or erase the pain but to confront it and discover methods to manage and cope with the emotions. This might involve setting boundaries, promoting open and honest communication, and prioritizing self-care. Although the pain may persist, with appropriate tools and support, it can become easier to handle and navigate.

Practicing Mindfulness for Healing

Mindfulness on a piece of paper by a window. In marriage infidelity counseling in Portland, OR, you can learn mindfulness practices. Mindfulness can help the pain of betrayal.

While there's no set timeline, there are things that can help alleviate the emotions that infidelity brings. Practicing mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help you manage overwhelming emotions and reduce stress levels. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's spending time in nature, pursuing a hobby, or connecting with supportive friends and family, can also promote emotional well-being. It's essential to prioritize self-compassion and allow yourself to grieve the loss of trust and security in your relationship. Seeking infidelity counseling at Sparking Relational Counseling can provide additional support as you navigate the complexities of betrayal. We offer a safe space to process your feelings and gain insight into your healing journey Remember, healing takes time, so be patient with yourself and focus on small steps towards recovery each day.

What Does Betrayal Trauma Look Like?

Infidelity and PTSD, similar to betrayal trauma, can manifest in various ways, resembling symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Individuals experiencing betrayal trauma may exhibit symptoms such as:

as intrusive thoughts or memories of the infidelity
intense emotional distress when reminded of the affair
avoidance of triggers associated with the betrayal
hypervigilance, where individuals remain on high alert for signs of further betrayal

Research suggests that betrayal trauma affects the brain similarly to other forms of trauma. So if you’re curious as to what infidelity does to the brain, it triggers neurobiological changes that contribute to symptoms such as heightened anxiety, depression, and difficulty regulating emotions. These changes can include alterations in neural pathways associated with emotional processing and the stress response. If you want to learn more about how to recover from infidelity PTSD, we’re here to help!

What is the Therapy for Betrayal Trauma?

Marriage counseling after infidelity can be a valuable tool for addressing the affair and rebuilding trust in your relationship. During infidelity counseling, you and your partner will have a safe space to express your feelings, understand each other's perspectives, and work towards healing together. Our family and marriage therapists are trained in couples counseling and use evidence-based techniques to help you navigate the aftermath of infidelity! This includes improving communication, setting boundaries, and constructively processing emotions.

So, what is the therapy for infidelity trauma? Your choice can depend on several factors, such as the nature and duration of the affair, your willingness to work on healing, and the underlying issues that contributed to the infidelity. A professional counselor or marriage and family therapist can assist you in selecting the most suitable approach tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT has garnered recognition for its success in assisting couples in navigating the aftermath of infidelity. EFT emphasizes understanding attachment needs and addressing attachment injuries, which are particularly pertinent in situations involving a breach of trust like infidelity.

Discernment Counseling

Discernment counseling is designed to aid couples in making informed decisions about the future of their marriage in a short-term, focused manner. Unlike traditional couples counseling aimed at enhancing the relationship, and recommitting to each other, Discernment Counseling helps couples gain clarity and confidence in determining whether to pursue reconciliation or move towards separation.

Four Steps to Start Affair Recovery Therapy

1) Request to Talk to a Family and Marriage Therapist and learn more about your caring couples therapist：

Fill out our brief contact form and one of our therapists will contact you within 24-48 hours ( except for holidays)

2) Talk to a Therapist and Schedule an online infidelity counseling session

One of our expert therapists will contact you by phone for a free 15-minute consultation to ensure we're a good fit. Then you'll be able to schedule an online counseling session.

3) Share with Us a Little more Background on Yourself.

We will send you a secure in-take link to give us some more background information on your situation to help your therapist understand you a bit more so that they can make your first session as effective and helpful as possible.

4) Have your First Online Counseling Session

Your first session will mostly be assessment in nature, but we do want you to have a good experience and to start learning some effective tools right away. Most people experience a sense of relief that they have taken the first steps toward a positive change and feel hopeful to have found a therapist who can help.

Other Services:

At Spark Relational Counseling, we offer a variety of mental health services to support you and your needs. We offer anxiety treatment at our Portland anxiety clinic. For individuals with immigrant parents and/or trans-racially adopted adults, we offer culturally sensitive individual counseling to help you address issues around identity and culture. For professional working women with concerns around dating, we offer Individual therapy for loneliness that helps you feel more confident in building a strong romantic relationship. Additionally, for those in a relationship. we specialize in couples and marriage counseling and premarital counseling as well. We also offer online therapy in Oregon, online therapy in Washington, and online therapy in Illinois. We are here to support you on your path to a more connected and fulfilling life.